I want to share a personal breakthrough I've experienced with meditation~ one of my spiritual Achilles heel. In the past, I've only needed a few days to sabotage any effort at creating a consistent meditation practice. The intense boredom I feel is too much as I become quickly absorbed with thoughts and overcome with fatigue. My mind rarely turns off for more than a few seconds before some comment, judgment, or memory barges in. It's not long before I'm nwondering how much time is left before the alarm goes off and I can get on with my busy day. I actually feel relieved when I finally abandon my practice. In the aftermath, I convince myself that meditation is not necessary for my spiritual practice. Yet no matter what I believe, my medicine path undeniably calls me back to take my seat and to meditate.
I recently had a shift in my understanding of meditation that appears to have changed my attitude and desire toward meditation. I've experienced this approach as much more active and participatory than my previous approach of observing arising thoughts and continually returning to a focus of breath. This transformation began when I integrated my spiritual beliefs with my meditation. I believe in a Divine Source flows through all life. The Source exist within all of us, without favoritism or judgment, regardless of differences- cultural, social, religious, familial, etc. The Source is our shared fundamental nature from which all else is created. I imagine the Source as Light which exists everywhere in the universe with the exception of a few black holes.
To begin my meditation, I say a short prayer of intentions that includes using this time to consciously connect with the Source. I slowly imagine Light flowing through every cell in my body and how it sustains my life. I remember that the Source is who I am and connects me to all Life. I breathe that realization into my being. I imagine in this moment being connected to all the people I love and to my favorite places in nature. When I feel in the light, I feel connected to life. I then focus my attention on my heart level and feel my connection to the Source. When I realize my attention has wandered, which it does continuously, I simply return my attention to the Source which can only be experienced in silence.
This participatory act of consciously merging with the Source has brought a newfound positive charge to my meditation. I now look forward to my daily meditations and experience longer periods of time in silence. I feel less burdened by my noisy mind and instead feel much more "light"-hearted about my practice. There are still those days when I struggle with meditation and am bombarded with thoughts and heavy feelings. Yet I am more patient with the mental chatter as I know that all things arise from the Source. The Source is always present. With open heart and an acceptance of "what is", my connection to the Source, my true nature, is my foundation for spiritual evolution.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Divine Seed
I've attended many workshops, ceremonies, and rituals throughout my life in hopes of finding the key that will free me of my EGO and allow me to awaken into some form of spiritual bliss. With open heart and focused intention, I come seeking complete transformation- kind of like winning the spiritual lottery. And when this hasn't happened (which it hasn't), I hold faith that I've moved closer to this elusive goal. And oh yeah, I also notice that a part of me feels a little disappointed and slighted.
As I walk my medicine path, I've begun to release my expectation of this instantaneous transformational moment (not that I'm opposed to it!). Instead I've noticed that my spiritual evolution comes more in the form of Divine Seeds. LIFE continually provides me with these seeds that show me how to live a more fulfilling life in communion with the Divine. Yet, for the seeds to grow, I have to take responsibility for my life through determined will, attention, patience, and love. This is my work if I'm ever going to enjoy the seed's inherent gifts. Without tending to these seeds, like a gardener tends to his fields, I know all too well that these fragile seeds will not take root in my being and will eventually die.
My Divine Seeds come in all shapes and sizes. A passage in a book, a passing thought, a feeling, a conversation, or an observation can jolt me out of my conditioned reality. Moments where I experience intense pain or discomfort can be some of my best seeds as they show me where I am yet not free. Divine seeds point the way through my heart and toward something so much bigger than what I can conceive of as me. I am connected to an amazing web of life that will support me if I am willing to live in harmony with its fundamental properties- love, compassion, balance, and acceptance. My seeds call me to dance with LIFE, even when a part of me is afraid that I don't know how to dance. Thankfully, my big SELF knows there is no right way to dance and that I just have to get up off my butt and start moving.
One of my most recent Divine Seeds was to start this blog. The essence of any spiritual path is to simply start walking, without expectation, and remain open to what happens. So I am excited to begin this journey and to see what I will encounter. I am grateful for the countless blessing in my life and the opportunity to serve LIFE.
So what Divine Seeds in your life need tending?
As I walk my medicine path, I've begun to release my expectation of this instantaneous transformational moment (not that I'm opposed to it!). Instead I've noticed that my spiritual evolution comes more in the form of Divine Seeds. LIFE continually provides me with these seeds that show me how to live a more fulfilling life in communion with the Divine. Yet, for the seeds to grow, I have to take responsibility for my life through determined will, attention, patience, and love. This is my work if I'm ever going to enjoy the seed's inherent gifts. Without tending to these seeds, like a gardener tends to his fields, I know all too well that these fragile seeds will not take root in my being and will eventually die.
My Divine Seeds come in all shapes and sizes. A passage in a book, a passing thought, a feeling, a conversation, or an observation can jolt me out of my conditioned reality. Moments where I experience intense pain or discomfort can be some of my best seeds as they show me where I am yet not free. Divine seeds point the way through my heart and toward something so much bigger than what I can conceive of as me. I am connected to an amazing web of life that will support me if I am willing to live in harmony with its fundamental properties- love, compassion, balance, and acceptance. My seeds call me to dance with LIFE, even when a part of me is afraid that I don't know how to dance. Thankfully, my big SELF knows there is no right way to dance and that I just have to get up off my butt and start moving.
One of my most recent Divine Seeds was to start this blog. The essence of any spiritual path is to simply start walking, without expectation, and remain open to what happens. So I am excited to begin this journey and to see what I will encounter. I am grateful for the countless blessing in my life and the opportunity to serve LIFE.
So what Divine Seeds in your life need tending?
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